The following story is from a survivor who shares the impact the rape kit backlog has had on her life. We thank her and honor her courage in sharing what she has experienced. Some of her story may surface feelings, thoughts or memories that could be uncomfortable. Please know that such reactions are common, and if you are feeling overwhelmed with the information, we encourage you to listen to your intuition as to when and how much of this content is helpful for you to read at this time.
Content Awareness:
This content explicitly mentions sexual assault and may be difficult for some to read.
My name is Leah M. Forney. I am Sexual Assault Thriver. I truly believe that there’s a difference between surviving and thriving. My story of sexual assault started in my teenage years. It started with being violated by an older man who lived in my neighborhood. I grew up in a time where you did not speak up when someone had violated you. I was taught to keep it to myself. The violation was the beginning of other violations that came in the form of abuse.
January 27, 2013, is a day in my life that I will never forget. It was three days before my 26th birthday. It was also the day that I was raped by a man that I knew. Let me set the backdrop for you, I was living in Durham, North Carolina. I was new to the state, and I had met my perpetrator at a car rental place. I was looking to rent a car because my car had broken down.
After I was unsuccessful in renting a car, my perpetrator offered to take me home. From that moment, unbeknownst to me, he started stalking me. He would appear everywhere I was throughout Durham. On the day he raped me I was home in my apartment waiting for my ride to go to church.
Prior to leaving my house, I received a phone call of the passing of a loved one. I was distraught. Soon after I received that call, my perpetrator had called my phone. He could hear my distraught voice and offered to come to my home and comfort me. Little did I know, he was parked outside of my apartment. After an exchange of tense words, my perpetrator proceeded to back me into a corner and raped me.
This day changed the course of my life. It was the first time I truly realized that as a Black woman, I was invisible in this justice system. I did report my rape two days after the assault. I can recall my experience with law enforcement being such a negative one. The male officer that took the report asked me repeatedly “Was I sure that I was raped because I knew my perpetrator?” I had to endure the pain and emotional turmoil that came with doing a rape kit at the hospital. I was connected to advocates from Durham Crisis Response Center. I had picked him out in a photo array. I went through the process. My case ended up in court just to get a restraining order. I was told by the male judge that I was a woman scorned and bitter and that he knew that I wasn’t raped by my perpetrator. After hearing those words, I had such an emotional breakdown and was threatened by a male sheriff to be arrested for disrupting the courtroom.
I left the courtroom defeated and discouraged on that day. I had to begin to pick up the pieces of my life and started therapy at DCRC. It was an emotional process to move from victim to survivor to Thriver.
Fast forward to June 2021, I receive a phone call from the same police department that failed me the first time. Only this time, they were calling me to notify me that my rape kit had been tested and a DNA match was found. The overwhelming emotional response I felt 8 years later challenged me to do something out of the ordinary. It challenged me to step out of this most difficult moment into a moment that was bigger than me.
The true injustice is founded in the backlog of untested rape kits. I waited 8 years to get my results and to have to make a difficult decision about whether to prosecute my perpetrator 8 years later. This fueled a bigger God-size purpose and passion for my life. I have written books and spoken out publicly regarding this injustice. I have been privileged to use my voice amongst law enforcement and attorney generals in my state of Maryland. I am now blessed to connect and work with Joyful Heart Foundation in the fight to end the backlog of untested rape kits.
This injustice has led me to create an acronym to help law enforcement, advocates, attorneys, etc. that work with each other to contact victims, survivors, and thrivers of sexual assault. It will help you to view how you see a “victim”.
V- Validation
I – Insight
C – Compassion
T – Timely
I – Instruction
M – Mindfulness
In closing, it is now my life’s mission to use my whole story as a voice for the voiceless. I often think about my nieces & nephews for whom I want to make this world a better place for when I leave this earth. Thank you to the Joyful Heart Foundation and all the organizations across the world that are in this fight with us. We will put an end to the backlog and receive justice for the victims, survivors, and thrivers that have been waiting for it. Be Blessed
– Leah M. Forney is published author, public speaker, sexual assault “thriver” and advocate. She is the CEO & Founder of Purposely Faithfull, LLC, her coaching and consulting firm specializing in working with purpose driven women with a desire to unlock her power & purpose. She is an award winner of I am H.E.R. International Awards Woman on the Rise. She has used her survivor story to train law enforcement on how to bridge the gap between victims and law enforcement. She is a member of Maryland Women of Color Network where she meets monthly to discuss issues that impact women of color regarding sexual violence and the legislation that needs to change.
You can follow Leah on many social media sites. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter.